When Your Inner Critic Won’t Switch Off: Could It Be ADHD?

You speak to yourself more than anyone else in the world — but have you ever stopped to really listen?

That voice in the background — the one that whispers, “You’re behind again,” “You never get it right,” “Why can’t you just keep up like everyone else?” — it shapes your entire experience of life. And if you’re living with undiagnosed ADHD, or long-term stress, it might feel like you’ve been dragging this voice behind you for decades.

For many women, especially high-functioning professionals, this inner dialogue isn’t just occasional. It’s a constant loop. And over time, it doesn’t just chip away at your confidence — it becomes the lens through which you see yourself.

But here’s the thing that most people miss:

That relentless self-criticism, the overthinking, the perfectionism — it may not be personality. It may be undiagnosed ADHD.

Why ADHD Often Sounds Like Self-Criticism

ADHD isn’t just about attention. It’s about regulation — of thoughts, time, energy, and emotions.

One of the most common but misunderstood symptoms in women is rumination — repetitive, negative thinking. The brain gets stuck in loops. You revisit past conversations, mistakes, missed deadlines. You imagine worst-case scenarios. You catastrophise. You replay things over and over, wondering what you should have done differently.

Neuroscience tells us that the ADHD brain often struggles with default mode network regulation — the system in the brain that kicks in when you're not focused on an external task. In ADHD, this can become overactive, fuelling anxiety, negative internal chatter, and what feels like an emotional hangover that never quite lifts.

Now layer that with societal expectations of women — to be organised, composed, emotionally steady, thoughtful, available, on top of everything. The pressure is exhausting. And when your brain isn’t wired to meet those expectations without support, the inner critic turns savage.

When Criticism Becomes Depression

Many women with ADHD don’t get diagnosed until their 30s or 40s — sometimes later. Why?

Because they’ve learned to mask.

They overachieve, overthink, over-function… until they burn out. What starts as frustration becomes low self-worth. What was once perfectionism turns into paralysis. Eventually, they’re not just tired — they’re depressed.

And no one, including themselves, suspects ADHD. Because no one ever told them that internalised failure, chronic shame, and the belief that you’re just not “good enough” are often signs of a brain struggling without support.

But What If You Could Turn This Around?

Imagine what it would feel like to:

• Wake up and not dread your inbox

• Set boundaries without spiralling into guilt

• Trust that your energy has rhythms — and work with them instead of against them

• Go to bed without replaying the day and tearing yourself apart

It’s not just about positive thinking. It’s about changing the entire relationship you have with your brain — and that must start by understanding it.

So Try This Today: Calm the Inner Critic

If the voice in your head has been too loud lately, try this 3-step reset:

1. Notice what it’s saying
   Write down a thought you’ve repeated a lot lately. Something like, “I’m falling behind,” or “I always mess this up.”

2. Ask: Would I say this to someone I love?
   If not, you don’t deserve to hear it either.

3. Rewrite it, even if you don’t believe it yet
   Example:

   "I always mess this up" → "This is hard, but I’m still learning what works for my brain."

Say it anyway. Remember repetition rewires your brain. So your brain learns not by believing — but by repeating. Not by focussing on the problem, but by changing the narrative in your mind, to focus on the positive.

This Is More Than Stress. It Could Be ADHD.

If what you’ve read here feels painfully accurate — you’re not being dramatic, sensitive, or making excuses. You may have been living with undiagnosed ADHD all along.

And understanding that changes everything.

Because once we know what we’re working with, we can stop blaming ourselves… and start supporting ourselves.

Ready to Find Out What's Really Going On?

If you're done wondering whether this is burnout, stress, or something deeper — let's find out.

🧠 Book a free 15-minute consultation
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📄 Start with my ADHD pre-screening quiz

No pressure. No shame. Just clarity, a tonne of compassion, and a real path forward towards a life where you don't wonder what's it all about...

You don’t have to live with that voice running the show anymore. Let’s quiet it together — and help you hear what’s true.